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It was supposed to be a fun and empowering experience for Karen, teaching her stepmom, Susan, some basic self-defense techniques. Karen had been taking self-defense classes for a few months and was excited to share her new skills with Susan, who had always been a bit of a timid and anxious person.

In self-defense, muscle memory is everything. Unfortunately, beginners don't have it. When you tell her to "palm strike the chin," she might overcompensate for her nerves and deliver a full-force slap to your ear.

The stepmother argued in court: "I was using non-lethal control because she was verbally aggressive."

There is a specific kind of awkwardness that follows accidentally hitting a family member. You’re holding your face in pain, she’s apologizing profusely, and suddenly the "bonding" part of the afternoon is replaced by an awkward trip to the freezer for an ice pack. 3. The Power Struggle

The desire to learn self-defense is noble. The desire to bond with a stepson over that skill is beautiful. But the reality is that a suburban living room is not a dojo, and a wrestling-obsessed teenager is not a certified instructor.

But teens lack the ability to "not squeeze." It is a neurological fact. If an arm is wrapped around a neck, a teenage boy will squeeze. It is the same reflex that makes them tighten a screw until it strips.